


Dumb

by Winona_asf



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Aromantic Asexual Mike Hanlon, Bisexual Beverly Marsh, Bisexual Bill Denbrough, F/F, F/M, Gay Eddie Kaspbrak, Gay Richie Tozier, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I just wrote this for fun, I wrote this while listening to the cure, Losers Club Group Chat (IT), M/M, Other, Pansexual Stanley Uris, SLOW BURN LOL, SO, Texting, that says stuff, they are sophomores
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-07
Updated: 2021-02-10
Packaged: 2021-03-12 07:14:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29256537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Winona_asf/pseuds/Winona_asf
Summary: I dont really know what this isrichie can spell he just doesnt, stan and eddie bond over hating him, and shit goes down but its mostly uneventful humor
Relationships: Ben Hanscom/Beverly Marsh, Beverly Marsh/Original Female Character(s), Bill Denbrough/Stanley Uris, Eddie Kaspbrak & Richie Tozier, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Comments: 10
Kudos: 17





	1. Chapter 1

**Dumb** **Saturday, 11:00 am**

**201-224-0785:** our old gc was getting boring

 **201-224-0785:** so i made a new one 

201-224-0785 changed their name to Rich

Rich changed 201-347-8860s name to Stan the man

Rich changed 201-666-0786s name to stepson

 **Stepson:** you bitch 

Rich changed 201-779-8847s name to All hail

 **Rich:** our queen

 **All hail:** I won’t argue with that

Rich changed 201-557-234s name to Farm boy

 **Farm boy:** :(

 **Rich:** :)

Stan the man changed Rich’s name to Bitch

 **Bitch:** wow staniel 

**Bitch:** mature 

Bitch changed 201-478-8438s name to baby

 **Baby:** um

 **Baby:** Thanks?

 **Bitch:** ofc Ben

 **Bitch:** anytime 

**Stan the man:** What about bill?

Bitch changed 201-747-8373s name to Billiam

 **Stepson:** oh fuck no 

Stepson has left the chat

Bitch has added 201-666-0786

 **Bitch:** you can’t escape me eds

 **All hail:** ‘dont call me eds’

 **Stan the man:** ‘Don’t call me Eds.’

 **201-666-0786:** DONT FUCKDING CALL ME EDS

Bitch has changed 201-666-0786s name to stepson

Stepson has changed their name to Eddie 

**Bitch:** ur boring asf

 **Eddie:** stfu

 **Bitch:** :(

 **All hail:** did everyone die 

**Stan the man:** Bold of you to assume I live.

 **Billiam:** R OU OKA

 **Billiam:** *R U

 **Stan the man:** If you texted properly, maybe I would be.

 **Billiam:** Are you okay Stanley?

Stan the man has changed their name to Stan

 **Bitch:** lame

 **Stan:** Don’t change it.

Bitch has changed Stans name to Staniel

 **Bitch:** oops

 **Billiam:** What have you done?

 **Bitch:** IM ASSORY I DIDT SEE THE TEXT STAN

 **Staniel:** *I’m

 **Staniel:** *sorry

 **Staniel:** *didn’t

 **Billiam:** Oh no he’s correcting spelling that’s not a good sign

 **All hail:** sorry rich I can’t cover for u this time

 **Bitch:** fuck fuck fuck 

**Bitch:** he’s prob coming over rn

 **Eddie:** I’ve been waiting for this moment 

**Bitch:** are we just not gonna talk about what a cute name Eddie is

 **Eddie:** fuck 

**Eddie:** you

 **Bitch:** that’s incest eds

 **Billiam:** Is nobody going to talk about how Eddie’s number has 666 in it?

 **Eddie:** there’s a reason we aren’t talking about that

 **Billiam:** I’m scared asf now.

 **All hail:** ..is nobody going to talk about how Bill is suddenly spelling correctly?

 **Billiam:** Stan got mad at me :(

 **All hail:** oh?

 **Bitch:** ph

 **Bitch:** djkdjka

 **Bitch:** I love to spell correctly. I pledge on your mom jokes that I will do so from now on.

 **Eddie:** rich?

 **Bitch:** I swear on making fun of Mrs. K that I will spell correctly. 

**Eddie:** fuck there’s something wrong with him 

**All hail:** u good Richie?

 **Bitch:** NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

 **Bitch:** IT WAS STANIEL

 **Bitch:** IT WAD HIM

 **Bitch:** I PROMISEN

 **Farm boy:** I promisen as well

 **Bitch:** LEAVE ME ALONE MIKEY

 **Farm boy:** ily tho

 **Bitch:** PMGNBSHS

 **Bitch:** OMFG 

**Bitch:** <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

 **Farm boy:** <3 <3 

**Bitch:** only two back? :(

 **Farm boy:** you’ll get more later 

**Bitch:** uwus?

 **Farm boy:** maybe

 **Baby:** <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

 **Bitch:** BEN 

**Baby:** yes?

 **Bitch:** MY LOVE FOR YOU SILL NEVER DIE

 **Farm boy:** sill

 **Eddie:** wait is stan at ur house?

 **Bitch:** yeah wanna come

 **Eddie:** text me privately bitch 

**All hail:** gay

**Catra/adora**

**Saturday 11:51 pm**

**Adora:** I still wanna be catra :(

 **Catra:** suck it 

**Adora:** did u ask ur mom

 **Catra:** no lol

 **Adora:** hurry 

**Adora:** stans gonna kill me soon if U don’t come

 **Catra:** ooooo I’ll help him 

**Adora:** u wind me Eds 

**Catra:** you make me want to stick forks in my eyes

 **Adora:** what did she say?

 **Catra:** I told her I was going to Bills 

**Adora:** idc just hurry up

 **Catra:** I’m coming dumbass

 **Adora:** I miss my spaghetti 

**Catra:** ew wtf 

**Catra:** whats a spaghetti 

**Adora:** gay

 **Catra:** what lol

**Dumb**

**Saturday, 2:03pm**

**Bitch:** this is an outrage

 **Bitch:** a sandal

 **Staniel:** Scandal? 

**Farm boy:** LOL NOT SANDAL

 **All hail:** what happened Richie

 **Bitch:** I’m angry 

**Bitch:** I’m fucking fuming

 **All hail:** drama queen 

**Bitch:** it’s a time for drama okay

 **Bitch:** don’t question 

**All hail:** Stan or Eddie what is it?

 **Eddie:** someone signed my cast

 **All hail:** who 

**Bitch:** fucking Greta 

**Bitch:** this bitch wrote loser

 **Bitch:** as if we wouldn’t take it as a conspliment

 **Staniel:** *compliment

 **All hail:** LMAO TF IS WRONG WITH HER

 **Farm boy:** I’m so sorry that happened to you Eddie

 **Baby:** that sucks I’m sorry :(

 **Eddie:** it’s ok guys thank u tho

 **Eddie:** bitchie tozier fixed it

 **All hail:** oh no

 **Baby:** how?

Staniel sent an image 

**All hail:** BAHAHAHHA

 **Staniel:** He can’t even write a V without fucking it up.

 **Billiam:** smh 

**All hail:** no no I like it

 **Baby:** me too!

 **All hail:** ppl are going to think Richie signed ur cast then 

**Eddie:** what?

 **Richie:** lol what

 **Billiam:** HDJSBAJABAN BEVERLY MARSH 

**Staniel:** Idiots.

 **Billiam:** Oh wait I’m sorry Stan!

 **Billiam:** Hdjsbajaban Beverly Marsh. 

**Staniel:** thank you

 **All hail:** all gay

 **Farm boy:** <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 

**Farm boy:** uwu uwu

 **Bitch:** OMG

 **Farm boy:** ur promised uwus

 **Bitch:** I LOVE I FORVER MIKEY

 **Farm boy:** u do?

 **All hail:** yes,,

 **All hail:** that’s the problem 

**Bitch:** dreams come true 

**Dumb**

**Sunday, 2:00 pm**

**Staniel:** My life is complete.

 **Staniel:** Now that I’ve watched the Someone Like You and Rumor Has It Glee mashup.

 **Bitch:** my favorite performance is toxic but go off

 **All hail:** ur basic 

**Staniel:** Toxic ranks 3rd.

 **All hail:** the man has taste

 **Staniel:** *The man has taste.

 **All hail:** u good?

 **Baby:** Yeah your usually sad or angry when you do that :(

 **Billiam:** Is everything okay?

 **Staniel:** I’m fine Bill.

 **Bill:** Oh well whatever it is I’m here

 **All hail:** ofc me too

 **Staniel:** Okay, well, I just have some stuff I've been wanting to say. 

**Staniel:** I just figured something out, 

**Staniel:** and I didn't want to bother you guys with it but now I feel like I have to. 

**Staniel:** I know your all excepting, I just wanted to tell you before I change my bio.

 **Staniel:** I'm non-binary. 

**Bitch:** I LOVE THE STANIEL

 **Staniel:** *you

 **Bitch:** oh shit wait

 **Staniel:** ?

 **Bitch:** oh my god wait I’m so sorry 

**Staniel:** What?

 **Bitch:** check ur private messages 

Stan the man/Rich the bitch

 **Rich the bitch:** IM SO SORRY FORMISGENDERING YOU

 **Rich the bitch:** I NEVER MEANT TO OFFEND YOUWHEN I CHANGED UR BAME

 **Rich the bitch:** I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I HOPE YOU ONOW THAT 

**Stan the man:** It’s okay, you didn’t know.

 **Rich the bitch:** is it actually okay like cuz 

**Rich the bitch:** im so sorry and you can be mad at me if u want

 **Stan the man:** It’s actually okay Rich.

Rich the bitch changed their name to Rich the man

Rich the bitch changed Stan the mans name to Stan the pan

 **Stan the pan:** Your welcome for not correcting your spelling. 

**Rich the bitch:** thank you bitch

 **Stan the pan:** I hate these names.

 **Rich the bitch:** NO DONT CHANGE THEM

Stan the pan changed their name to Frying pan

 **Rich the bitch:** NOOOOO

 **Rich the bitch:** NOW WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO BE 

**Frying pan:** Think of something.

 **Frying pan:** Your good at that.

 **Rich the bitch:** thats what ur mom said last night

 **Frying pan:** I swear to fucking god

 **Frying pan:** Wait no.

 **Rich the bitch:** OMG 

**Frying pan:** No.

 **Rich the bitch:** YOU DIDN:T PUT A PERIOD

 **Frying pan:** You have to think of a name to match frying pan.

 **Rich the bitch:** your changing the subject

 **Frying pan:** *You’re 

**Rich the bitch:** smh

Rich the bitch changed their name to homophone

 **Frying pan:** Ew.

 **Homophone:** :/

 **Homophone:** i thought long and hard to find one that would live up to frying pan

 **Frying pan:** Clearly it wasn’t long enough.

 **Homophone:** im waiting for you to take that back because you know what ill say

 **Frying pan:** Fuck you.

 **Homophone:** im waiting for you to take that back because you know what ill say

 **Frying pan:** *I’m

 **Frying pan:** *I’m

 **Frying pan:** *I’ll

 **Frying pan:** *I’ll

**Dumb**

**All hail:** lol what was that about

 **All hail:** OH

 **All hail:** Stanley Uris I love you with all my heart.

 **All hail:** I’m driving over right now to give you a hug. 

**Staniel:** You don’t have a license.. ?

 **Staniel:** Bev?

 **Baby:** Bev picked me up too!

 **Baby:** I’m so proud of you Stanley

 **Baby:** I’m so happy I met you guys i love you all

 **Bitch:** OMG we stan wholesome Ben

 **All hail:** Ben is always wholesome

 **Bitch:** exactly 

**Eddie:** STAN I LOVE YOU

 **Staniel:** I occasionally tolerate you too Eddie.

 **Eddie:** *Richie

 **Bitch:** dont bring me into this Eds

 **Staniel:** ‘Dont fucking call me that.’

 **Eddie:** dont fucking call me Eds

 **Bitch:** HAHHAHAHAH

 **All hail:** every time 

**Eddie:** fuck u

 **Richie:** never thought youd ask

 **Eddie:** i wasnt talking to you

 **Staniel:** *you’d

 **All hail:** you guys made Richie cry 

**Eddie:** which one of us 

**All hail:** idk

 **Staniel:** Why are you with Richie?

 **Baby:** We’re driving over!

 **All hail:** we are almost to eddies and then to mikes

 **All hail:** bills here but his phone is dead 

**All hail:** he says congratulations Stan and he doesn't know where he'd be without you, especially after what happened with Georgie and both of your parents not understanding 

**All hail:** Thats so sweet what the fuck 

**Staniel:** Um, 

**Staniel:** wow Bill thank you so much 

**All hail:** OMG BAHAHHA THEY DIDN"T USE PROPER GRAMMAR 

**All hail:** OMG BUT U STILL CAPITALIZED HIS NAME THATS SO SWEET 

**Staniel:** Oh god.

 **Bitch:** can i choose the movie guys

 **Eddie:** fuck no im choosing

 **Bitch:** nice try

 **Bitch:** tallest gets first pick

 **Eddie:** im tall asf

 **All hail:** HAHAHAHHAHAHA

 **Bitch:** AJKDSJKAJAHJSKSDKJLF EDS

Bitch changed Eddie’s name to Tall asf

 **All hail:** hes so tallll

 **Bitch:** and handsome as hell

 **All hail:** hes so bad

 **Bitch:** but he does it so well

 **All hail:** and when weve had 

**Bitch:** our very last kiss

 **All hail:** my one

 **Bitch:** condition

 **All hail:** is

 **Tall asf:** SAY YOULL REMEMBER ME

 **Bitch:** woah eds

 **All hail:** standing in a nice dress

 **Bitch:** staring at the sunset

 **Tall asf:** babe

 **Bitch:** yes? 

**Tall asf:** no

 **Bitch:** red lips and rosey cheeks

 **Tall asf:** say you’ll see me again

 **All hail:** even if it’s just in your

 **Tall asf:** WILLLLLDEST

 **Bitch:** DREAMMMMMS

 **Tall asf:** AHHH ahhhhHHhhh

 **Staniel:** Shut up. 

**Staniel:** Your all in a car together.

 **Baby:** actually Richie is sad because he has to sit in the trunk alone

 **Baby:** we arent at Eddie’s yet

 **Staniel:** since when do either Richie or Eddie sit in Bev’s trunk?

 **Bitch:** since you voted for us to 

**All hail:** because we can’t fit everyone

 **Bitch:** because your bad friends

 **Baby:** :(

 **Bitch:** dont act like you didnt vote for us Ben

 **Bitch:** i know your moves bitch

 **All hail:** take that back

 **All hail:** take it back right now

 **Bitch:** on no Bev just pulled over the car

 **Staniel:** What the fuck is happening.

 **Baby:** lol you didn’t even put a question mark 

**Staniel:** It was rhetorical.

 **Tall asf:** omg i see ur car bev

 **Tall asf:** Rich i see you omg be quiet i can hear you singing from my room

 **Tall asf:** my mom can't see me leaving shell kill me

 **Bitch:** fuck

 **All hail:** AJKFAJS RICHIE JUST YELLED AT ALL OF US TO BE QUIET

 **All hail:** OH SHIT HES PISSED OFF NOW

 **Bitch:** shut up

 **Tall asf:** ok im coming out rn

 **Bitch:** I accept you Eds

 **All hail:** HAHAHAHAH

 **Tall asf:** YOU KNW WHAT I MEATN

 **Bitch:** first stage: denial

 **All hail:** Eddie hurry up I dont like keeping the car running when we arent going

Bitch changed All hail’s name to Keeper of the planet

 **Bitch:** we stan

 **Staniel:** No we don’t.

 **Keeper of the planet:** nooo i liked my old name

Staniel has changed Keeper of the planets name to Bev

 **Bev:** ew what is this

 **Staniel:** I can’t keep track of who’s who.

 **Farm boy:** sorry what did I miss? 

**Farm boy:** i was working

 **Bitch:** smh farm boy

 **Bitch:** Eddie proposed to me, so I finally married a Kasbrak, which broke his heart because it wasn’t him

 **Farm boy:** BAHAHHA I JUST GOT THAT

 **Staniel:** You’de have to be quite dumb to not get one of Richie’s jokes.

 **Bitch:** HOW RUDE

 **Tall asf:** I fuckig hate you

Tall asf changed Bitch’s name to trashmouth

Trashmouth has changed Tall asf’s name to trash

 **Trash:** I'm actually going to fucking kill you

 **Trashmouth:** at least ill die matching with my stepson 

**Staniel:** *I’ll


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> idk bro they just have a sleepover and are dumb hence the gc name

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW for talk of fetishization 
> 
> there is also a very very subtle reference to past homophobia but its not direct and youll only get it if youve watched chapter 2. Theres also foreshadowing for transphobia and just overall terrible/abusive parenting but theres none in this chapter

**Dumb**  
**All hail, Bitch, Eddie, Staniel, Farm Boy, Billiam, Baby**  
**Monday, 3:00 am**

**All hail:** this sleepover was the gayest thing ive ever witnessed in my life

 **All hail:** and im dating a woman

 **All hail:** ik everyone will ignore the first message when you wake up

 **All hail:** but i can't sleep because you are all snoring loud asf

**dumb**  
**Monday, 9:00 am**

**Staniel:** You are correct, those are currently being ignored.

 **Billiam:** when r we going to get to meet ur gf?

 **All hail:** never

 **All hail:** your going to scare her

 **Billiam:** From what I hear it will be the other way around.

 **All hail:** OMG GUYS

 **All hail:** DO YOU SEE WHAT IM SEEING?

 **Billiam:** do you heear what i hearrrr

 **All hail:** THIS IS NO TIME FOR SERENADING DO YOU SEE THEM TOO?

 **Staniel:** Yes and I’m currently gagging. 

**Baby:** oh no? 

**Baby:** what happened i dont see anything

 **Baby:** we are in the same room why are you guys texting

 **Billiam:** I think cuz we can't wake them up

 **Billiam:** *up.

 **All hail:** wait this is the normal group chat oops

 **All hail:** nvmd

**Tozier and Kasbrak hate group**  
**Biverly, Benny, Mikey, Billy, Stanny**  
**Monday, 9:30 am**

**Biverly:** on here Ben

 **Benny:** wait its about them?

 **Benny:** AW THEY ARE CUDDLING

 **Biverly:** this is the first time youve spoken in caps 

**Biverly:** im proud of you

 **Billy:** i'm savoring it too

 **Mikey:** guys why are you texting 

**Mikey:** and why haven't you left for school aren't you supposed to be there?

 **Biverly:** we have off today 

**Biverly:** i would love to say we are rebellious and we have skipped but its not the case

 **Billy:** mike where r u

 **Mikey:** oh i woke up and made breakfast lol

 **Biverly :** fuck now im hungry

 **Mikey:** theres some for everyone!

 **Biverly:** AW

 **Stanny** Why does everyone suddenly live here too?

 **Mikey:** i hope its not intruding or anything Stan 

**Mikey:** im just used to waking up early

 **Biverly:** hence the farmer boy

 **Biverly:** i love the fact that i now know that i'm not the only one who isnt a disgusting man

 **Stanny:** I accept this allegiance. 

**Biverly:** anyways thank you mikey your the best dad anyone could ask for

 **Mikey:** ily too guys

 **Mikeyt:** still love florida more tho

 **Benny:** can we stop texting its weird we are all here

 **Biverly:** NOOO SHHH

 **Biverly:** youll wake these two annoying bitches up

 **Stanny:** I agree with Bev. 

**Stanny:** We need to keep them sleeping as long as possible I can’t deal with them right now.

 **Biverly:** it is a little weird tho

 **Biverly:** lets just go upstairs really quietly 

**Biverly:** like really quietly 

**Billy:** yeah eddie is a really light sleeper

 **Stanny:** Ew they look so ugly when they’re asleep.

 **Mikey:** did you just admit they arent when they are awake?

 **Stanny:** *aren’t 

**Biverly:** GUYS HURRY UP WE ARE UPSTAIRS NOW

 **Stanny:** They left us behind Ben.

 **Billy:** JDSKFAJKAS

 **Biverly:** fyi your names are trash

 **Stanny:** You picked them.

 **Biverly:** expecting you to change them

 **Biverly:** the taste is not here 

**Billy:** how could ours ever be as good as yours

 **Biverly:** ig im the queen

 **Benny:** we never disagreed with that!

 **Mikey:** aww

 **Biverly:** OMG

 **Stanny:** Heterosexuality disgusts me.

 **Biverly:** are all you bitches illeterate or just dumb?

 **Stanny:** Both.

 **Biverly:** clearly you can’t read my name

 **Billy:** GUYS GET UPSTAIRS OMFG

 **Stanny:** Sorry I’m coming Bill.

 **Biverly:** your so lucky richie isnt on this gc

 **Stanny:** Can you not do that?

 **Biverly:** wait im sorry

 **Stanny:** *I’m 

**Biverly:** NO WAIT IM SO SORRY

 **Stanny:** It's fine it just seems weird and fetishizy. 

**Biverly:** Im actually so sorry

 **Biverly:** I would never fetishize anyone 

**Biverly:** im literally wlw im so sorry it came off that way i was just making fun of Richie because hes usually annoying asf 

**Stanny:** It’s okay Beverly.

 **Billy:** OMG ITS OK LMAO

 **Billy:** OMG SHES LIKE CRYING

 **Biverly:** I swear I know that was really weird of me to say since im not nblm and thank you for calling me out that was super straight and disgusting of me to do 

**Biverly:** and i really hope me teasing all of you guys isnt making any of your friendships akward im just a bully but i will 100% stop if its making anyone uncomforable 

**Stanny:** Thanks for apologizing Bev.

 **Billy:** its okay Bev you obviously arent going to make a weird joke again and richie does it all the time 

**Biverly:** im so sorry u guys are my siblings i would ever fetishize any of you

 **Billy:** ITS FINE BIVERLY 

**Biverly:** IM SORRY IM JUST MAKING SURE

 **Benny:** kk we are almost up the stairs we are being quiet!

**Dumb**  
**All hail, Trashmouth, Trash, Staniel, Farm Boy, Billiam, Baby**  
**Monday, 12:30 pm**

**Trashmouth:** uh hi guys where is everyone

 **Trashmouth:** we just woke up

 **Trash:** ive been awake for hours you bitch 

**Trashmouth:** why didnt you wake me up then :(

 **Trash:** because your annoying and i didnt want to hear your voice

 **Trashmouth:** aww eds cares about me

 **Trashmouth:** dajdjahjjdksjfkjkhasdsadjkdsk 

**Trashmouth:** HELP

 **Trashmouth:** KJAAHKADFJKDFJKAJAJ

 **Trashmouth:** hi guys its Eddie

 **Trashmouth:** fuckksds

 **Trash:** hi guys its totally eddie

 **Trashmouth:** its not me we switched phones this is me

 **Trash:** i am currently weeping because my mother is marrying the love of my life

 **Trash:** OMG HELP HES SO MAD

 **Trashmouth:** your dead.

 **Staniel:** Jesus Christ. 

**Staniel:** Shut up we can hear you yelling. 

**All hail:** omg sftu guys

 **Staniel:** My parents are going to freak if they get home and the house is in shreds.

 **Farm boy:** how do you shred a house

 **Trash:** IS NOBODY LISTENING

 **Trash:** HELP ME 

**Billiam:** no lol

 **Billiam:** Come upstairs.

 **Trash:** okay ill try

 **Trash:** hes blockig the stairway

 **Trash:** he looks pure evil rn

 **Trash:** im so sorry guys

 **Trash:** i dont think im goig to make it out

 **Trash:** it has been an honor serving with you ppl

 **Trash:** at least i will die a happy man

 **Trash:** knowing you are all safe upstairs

 **Trash:** goodbye

 **All hail:** and ill say it again,

 **All hail:** fucking drama queen

 **All hail:** guys? Where did u go?

 **Trashmouth:** so he actually didnt kill me 

**All hail:** congrats

 **Trashmouth:** and i got my phone back!

 **Trash:** we are coming upstairs in a sec

 **Trashmouth:** i smell food 

**All hail:** how we ate like 3 hours ago

 **Trash:** he can smell crumbs

 **Staniel:** I can second that.

 **All hail:** a little weird but we’ll let it slide

**Dumb**  
**All hail, Trashmouth, Trash, Staniel, Farm Boy, Billiam, Baby**  
**Monday, 4:00 pm**

**Mikey:** that was really fun guys!

 **All hail:** even tho you all suck ass at swimming

 **Trash:** take that tf back

 **Trash:** rich stan bill and i have been swimming there longer then all of you

 **Staniel:** *than

 **All hail:** double date

Staniel has removed All hail from the chat

 **Baby:** :/

 **Mikey:** ADD HER BACK THIS SECOND

 **Billiam:** dad much?

 **Mikey:** i love all my children equally i can't help it

 **Trashmouth:** i can understand that

 **Trash:** no you can't

Baby has added 201-779-8847

201-779-8847 has changed their name to All hail

 **All hail:** point taken

 **Mikey:** guys my cow just gave birth

 **Trashmouth:** OMG

 **Trashmouth:** I CALL NAMING 

**Trash:** of course this is what makes richie active again

 **Trashmouth:** BABY COWWWWW

 **All hail:** are baby cows punk rock richie?

 **Trashmouth:** UM YES

 **Trashmouth:** very punk rock

 **Trashmouth:** the most punk rock infact

 **Staniel:** There's a space between ‘in’ and ‘fact’.

 **Trashmouth:** theres a space between your front teeth

 **Billiam:** leave them alone

 **All hail:** Uris slander is not acceptable in this family

 **Staniel:** unless its my parents

 **Billiam:** yeah fuck them

 **All hail:** oh no Stan what happened?

 **Mikey:** do you want to talk about it?

 **Staniel:** no its okay

**Heartbreakers**  
**Mother, Platonic father, Son, Son in law**  
**Monday, 4:15 pm**

**Son:** they arent capitalizing, spelling, or using punctuation 

**Son:** im really scared for them :(

 **Son in law:** what is this gc and who is on it 

**Mother:** we made it when we had that argument about who is who in the family out of the four of us

 **Son in law:** ur bev right?

 **Mother:** the one and only

 **Son in law:** hold on 

**Son in law:** if im son in law

 **Son in law:** who tf is son

 **Son in law:** wait no dont answer that

 **Mother:** Richie

 **Platonic father:** Richie

 **Son:** ur stepdad

Son in law has left the chat

 **Son:** anyways im super worried about Stan

 **Son:** i think they told u some stuff when we slept over bill but you dont have to tell us that would be an invasion of privacy just please let us know that they are safe?

 **Mother:** ur so different when you have protective mode on 

**Son:** my platonic soulmate doesnt deserve any pain i will protect staniel as long as i live

 **Platonic father:** Me too.

 **Platonic father:** but minus the platonic part

 **Platonic father:** oops

Message is no longer available because it was unsent by the sender

 **All hail:** im pretending i don't see that you unsent something

 **Platonic father:** good

 **Platonic father:** Richie i dont think they want me to say anything but im making sure they are safe you dont need to worry for now

 **Son:** for now?

**Catra/Adora**  
**Monday, 4:30 pm**

**Catra:** rich can u add me back?

 **Catra:** i didnt realize anything was happening with stan i didnt see the messages

 **Catra:** im really worried

 **Adora:** no lol

 **Catra:** add me tf back 

**Heartbreakers**  
**Mother, Platonic father, Son**  
**Monday, 4:33 pm**

Son has added 201-666-0786

201-666-0786 has changed their name to Eddie

 **Eddie:** sorry guys i didnt realize this was about stan 

**Son:** yeah sorry guys my bf is dumb asf

 **Eddie:** shut the actual fuck up

 **Eddie:** im not your fucking boyfriend

 **Son:** lol

 **Eddie:** i can't tell if ur mad or being sarcastic you bitch

 **Eddie:** your so annoying when you speak

**4:50 pm**

**Eddie:** stop reading these

 **Eddie:** Rich?

 **Eddie:** did i say something?

 **All hail:** is it cuz you said your not his bf lmao

 **Eddie:** no its not that brb

**Catra/Adora**  
**Monday, 5:30 pm**

**Catra:** hey rich

 **Catra:** you can be catra

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if id have to say eddie would be catra cuz hes mean lmao
> 
> ok ik some stuff happened with bev but i wanted to enclude that to make it more realistic, since even tho its awkward those situations are actually going to happen irl


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW: undertones of past sexual violence/abuse and trauma. Mentions of current abusive parenting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im so sorry this is such a shit chapter

**Dumb**  
**All hail, Trashmouth, Trash, Staniel, Farm Boy, Billiam, Baby**  
**Wednesday, 3:30 pm**

**Trashmouth:** fuck fuck fuck

 **Trashmouth:** FUCK

 **Farm boy:** are you okay??

 **Trash:** do you want me to answer that

 **Trashmouth:** NO

 **Trashmouth:** I AM NOT OKAY

 **Trashmouth:** I DONT HAVE A HALLOWEEN COSTUME

 **All hail:** oh shit that is bad

 **All hail:** i was going to be princess allura from voltron but i can do something else with you guys

 **Trashmouth:** IM BEING LANCE WITH YOU

 **All hail:** wow that wasn’t even a question 

**All hail:** wait hold on a second

 **All hail:** do you fucking ship them??

 **Trashmouth:** have you even met me Ringwald

 **All hail:** Klance?

 **Trashmouth:** Klance.

Trash has renamed the chat to What tf is Kalnce 

**Trashmouth:** EDS WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU

All hail has removed Trash from the chat

 **Trashmouth:** wait i wasn’t being serious add him back

 **All hail:** dont get so protective of him jeez

 **Trashmouth:** so idk if you know 

**Trashmouth:** but certain people can see these messages

 **All hail:** relax I removed him 

**Trashmouth:** im not talking about Eds

All hail has deleted all message history

 **Trashmouth:** oop

 **All hail:** happy?

 **Staniel:** What does happy mean?

 **Trashmouth:** STANNNNNNNNNNN

 **Trashmouth:** I MISSED YOU

 **Staniel:** I texted you 10 minutes ago.

 **Billiam:** why havent we added Eddie back yet hes been spamming me 

**Staniel:** Please don’t Bill.

 **Staniel:** It’s bad enough when they flirt in person.

 **All hail:** no its worse in person

 **Staniel:** It’s hell. 

**All hail:** It’s revolting

 **Billiam:** which one of yus doesnt know how to flush the toilet when theyve taken a shat

 **Baby:** i think its cute tho

 **Farm boy:** yeah they are so sweet

 **All hail:** it wasnt me

 **Billiam:** well it was fuckin one of yus

 **Staniel:** Disgusting. 

**Billiam:** DID YOU JUST FINISH MY SENTENCE

 **Staniel:** I thought we were still talking about Reddie

 **All hail:** still counts

 **Baby:** This doesn't feel right

 **Billiam:** why is it so quiet

 **All hail:** the silence is hurting my ears

 **Farm boy:** yeah where did richie go?

 **Billiam:** AKHFJLAJFKJ

 **All hail:** one sec i need to check my primary source

Oblivious #1/Oblivious #2

 **Oblivious #1:** eddie where is he

 **Oblivious #2:** why did you guys make him cry

 **Oblivious #1:** HAHAHAH IDK THERE ARE SO MANY THINGS

 **Oblivious #2:** he says it’s because you recited something without him?

 **Oblivious #1:** aw thats kinda cute ngl

 **Oblivious #2:** what

 **Oblivious #1:** he went to ur house when he was sad

 **Oblivious #2:** the onlying cute thing about this is richies gorgeous hair 

**Oblivious #1:** UM

 **Oblivious #1:** want some privacy?

 **Oblivious #2:** THAT WAS RICH IGNORE THAT

**my brak is kaspy**  
**All hail, Trashmouth, Staniel, Farm Boy, Billiam, Baby**  
**Wednesday, 3:30 pm**

All hail sent a screenshot

 **Farm boy:** NOO YOU GUYS WE MADE HIM CRY :((

 **Staniel:** Imagine having emotions.

 **All hail:** mortals am i right

 **Staniel:** Men am I right?

 **All hail:** same thing lol

 **Trashmouth:** stop the lies

 **Trashmouth:** rashmooh does no have emoions 

Trashmouth has added 201-666-0786 to the group

201-666-0786 has changed their name to Eddie K

Trashmouth has renamed the group chat to my brak is kaspy

 **Staniel:** rashmooh?

 **Trashmouth:** *rashmouh

 **Trashmouth:** RASHMOUH

 **Trashmouth:** THE KEY IS BROEKn

 **Trashmouth:** THE 

**Staniel:** The T key?

 **Trashmouth:** YESH

Staniel has changed Trashmouths name to Rashmooh

 **Staniel:** Even with the Ts it would be so off.

 **All hail:** it would be tRashmooht

 **Eddie K:** oops

 **Rashmooh:** GASP

 **All hail:** please never type that again

 **Rashmooh:** I WAS YOU 

**Baby:** it was you

 **Rashmooh:** YOU BROKE HE KEY

 **Baby:** you broke the key

 **Rashmooh:** EDS WAS MY FRINED AND HE BE RAYED ME

 **Baby:** Eds was my boyfriend and he betrayed me

 **Rashmooh:** EDDIE I KNOW YOUR HIDING I S ONLY A MA ER OF TIME UN IL I FIND YUO

 **Baby:** Eddie I know your hiding its only a matter of time until I marry you

 **Rashmooh:** hanks for ransla ing me ben

 **Baby:** thanks for translating me ben

 **Baby:** of course Richie!

 **Rashmooh:** NO I DIDNT SEE THAT YOU CHANGEDTHE STUFF 

**Baby:** yay the t is working now!!

 **Rashmooh:** i did not say the bf or marry part

 **Rashmooh:** all though we both know its what my eds wants

 **Eddie K:** fuck u 

This message is no longer available because it was unsent by the unsender

 **Rashmooh:** sorry eds im busy tonight

 **Rashmooh:** but maybe i can postpone my date with ur mom 

Staniel has changed Eddie K’s name to Rash

 **Billiam:** KDASJKAlFH

 **Rash:** what the fuck

 **Rash:** why would you name me after a temporary outbreak of itchy skin??

 **Rashmooh:** oh im not temporary cutie

 **Rash:** stfu im trying to speak

 **Rash:** thats disgusting 

**Staniel:** Are you quoting the first thing anyone has ever said to you?

 **All hail:** STAN AHHAHA

Rashmooh has removed Staniel from the chat

Billiam has added 201-347-8860 to the chat

Rashmooh has removed 201-347-8860 from the chat

Billiam has added 201-347-8860 to the chat

Rashmooh has removed 201-347-8860 from the chat

Billiam has added 201-347-8860 to the chat

Rashmooh has removed 201-347-8860 from the chat

Billiam has added 201-347-8860 to the chat

Billiam has changed 201-347-8860's name to Stan :)

 **Rashmooh:** Mrs K has changed Richie's status of single

 **Rash:** haha thats odd why did richie just go missing?

 **All hail:** dear god.

 **Billiam:** dear lorddd

 **Billiam:** when I get to heavennn

 **Farm boy:** oh it looks like i didnt miss much lol

 **Rashmooh:** i guess im not much then

 **All hail:** that was the worst pick up line ive ever heard

 **Farm boy:** wait what 

**Billiam:** I was about to do a keyboard slam but i think it would be my fifth one.

 **All hail:** omg now that Im thinking about it

 **All hail:** its your language

**my brak is kaspy**  
**All hail, Rashmooh, Rash, Stan :), Farm Boy, Billiam, Baby**  
**Wednesday, 5:09 pm**

**Rashmooh:** so we have not yet covered halloween 

**Rashmooh:** whos buying what 

**Rash:** sry rich i can't get anything 

**Rashmooh:** *whos buying what besides eddie

 **All hail:** lol u simp 

**Billiam:** idk whatever anyone else wants

 **All hail:** i already bought the first giant bag of york peppermint patties i saw 

**Stan :) :** Thank you whoever named me.

 **Stan :) :** And I can buy skittles.

 **Billiam:** in that case ill get M*Ms and your welcome :)

 **Billiam:** I MEANT M&MS

 **All hail:** asdjkds it looks like you censored moms

 **Stan :) :** I mean either way works.

**I hate men/i hate men lol**

**i hate men lol:** Stan ive noticed your been talking about your family and stuff on the main group chat recently

 **i hate men lol:** and i want you to know that if theres any of us that you can talk about your family or parents its me

 **i hate men lol:** ik i havent really talked about this and i would prefer to keep it that way with everyone, but if we are both dealing with things centered around them then i think we could help eachother

 **i hate men lol:** this might not help but i also know some stuff about legal shit and how that works so 

**i hate men lol:** im not saying we have to talk i just wanted you to know im always going to listen 

**I hate men:** Thanks Bev, if there's anyone that'd feel comfortable talking about my family around it’s you or Eddie.

 **I hate men:** But I also feel like, even with how little I know, what you’ve gone through is probably so much worse then whatever is happening to me right now and I wouldn;t want to compare my experience. 

**i hate men lol:** Stanley Uris dont fucking say that

 **i hate men lol:** just because we are going through different things does mean we have to compare our experiences. 

**i hate men lol:** and it doesn't make either of us any less valid

 **i hate men lol:** especially you stan

 **I hate men:** You're literally the best person to talk to right now. 

**I hate men:** Besides Bill.

 **I hate men:** I have to leave right now, but I’ll talk to you later. 

**i hate men lol:** <3

**my brak is kaspy**  
**All hail, Rashmooh, Rash, Stan :), Farm Boy, Billiam, Baby**  
**Wednesday, 5:53 pm**

**Farm boy:** hey guys do you think i could bake something for halloween instead of buying candy

 **All hail:** why are you asking us

 **All hail:** instead of baking

 **Baby:** that would be amazing Mike!!

 **Rashmooh:** I worship you Mikey

 **Rashmooh:** sorry mrs k but ur turn is over

 **Staniel:** You would think that once Richie came out to us in the third fucking grade he would at least make your dad jokes, rather then your mom. 

**Staniel:** But I think at this point that hes too fucking dumb to know the difference anyways. 

**Rashmooh:** oh no its not because im dumb

 **Rashmooh:** like i am dumb

 **Rashmooh:** but its because i only do them to torment my husband lmao

 **Rash:** you do?

 **Rash:** WAIT NO

 **Rashmooh:** AHHA YOU RESPONDED TO HUSBAND

 **All hail:** lets take a quick break from gay and move onto halloween costumes

 **Rashoooh:** i dont see a difference 

**All hail:** are we all going to do voltron 

**Rashoooh:** up and i still dont see a difference 

**Rash:** we are sophomores why are we dressing up

 **All hail:** dont make me remove you again

 **Rash:** fine 

**Rash:** i dont have one ill do it with you guys

 **Rashmooh:** if eds is doing it he has to be pidge

 **All hail:** eddie is lance  
**Rashmooh:** NO I AM LANCE

 **All hail:** nope u act like lance but you look exactly like keith

 **Rashmooh:** so im keith?

 **All hail:** yeah and eddies lance

 **Rashmooh:** oh

 **Rashmooh:** OH

**Frying pan/Homophone**  
**9:45 pm**

**Frying pan:** Richie,

 **Frying pan:** Im really freaking out right now can I ask you a favor?

 **Homophone:** ofc staniel

 **Homophone:** my parents think im cleaning my room but im smoking lol what do u need 

**Frying pan:** Can I stay the night?

 **Homophone:** are you okay

 **Homophone:** Stan??

 **Homophone:** Staniel pick up right now im calling you

 **Homophone:** please stanley im really scared

 **Homophone:** stan please i love you im so sorry 

**Homophone:** if your seeing this i love you and ill help you through whatevers going on 

**Tozier is over party**  
**Simp, bev, billie jean, michael**

**Simp:** guys why is richie sending me videos of him freaking out asking me where stan is

 **Simp:** has anyone talked to or seen them recently?

 **Bev:** they seemed fine when we spoke

 **Bev:** holy shit

 **Simp:** richies like really freaked out he says hes goig over to stans rn 

**Simp:** he was crying a lot

 **Simp:** guys what if something really bad happened and theyre in the hospital 

**Bev:** if richie was on the gc he would tell you to breath just pretend hes here ok 

**Simp:** okay im going to try and figure out whats happening

 **Bev:** if you guys see this please dont call or text stan it might freak them out 

**Billie jean:** WHAT THE FUCK

 **Bev:** eddie wtf why did you have to choose a gc with bill

 **Billie jean:** FUCK

**Frying pan/homophone:**  
**10:30 pm**

**Frying pan:** imso sorry richie im coming right now sorry can't type 

**Homophone:** okay stan its okay im waiting outside my house

 **Homophone:** i didnt tell my parents anything exept i was worried about someone you dont need to worry about them freaking out 

**Homophone:** do you want to tell me what happened? 

**Frying pan:** well a lot of stuffbut basically

 **Frying pan:** my parents kicked me out


End file.
